As a general rule, I hate awards shows. This is mostly due to acceptance speeches and gag-inducing pretension. But I watched the Grammys anyway, even though I know next to nothing about music. The Wife was there to explain things to me as the show went along and by the end of the night I learned some things and I have a few thoughts:
Bob Dylan was either singing poorly or unsuccessfully trying to hork up a loogie.
Cee Lo followed in the footsteps of legendary performers Johnny Cash and Elton John and performed with Muppets, which makes him the coolest person alive, even if CBS totally uncooled his song by calling it "The Song Otherwise Known as 'Forget You.'
The nominees for Best Rock Album were a bunch of old dudes and some band named Muse. Tom Petty and Pearl Jam were nominated. I guess it's nice to know that rock music hasn't gotten any better since my sophomore year of high school. I'm surprised Lenny Kravitz didn't make an appearance...oh, wait, he did?
Eminem somehow manages to enunciate really well and still leave me totally baffled. He's like the Micro Machines guy, except angrier.
Bieber somehow lost Best New Artist to Pam Munoz Ryan's middle grade novel Esperanza Rising. I'm as confused as you are.
Barbra Streisand...I don't get it.
There's an award called "Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals." Train won. I'm glad, because Train annoys me and so does that award.
Mick Jagger is seven years older than my dad. Somehow, I can't picture my dad prancing around on stage.
CBS did a nice job of limiting Seacrest.
But mostly what I learned is that the music I grew up listening to is better than the music kids listen to today. The Best Rock Album nominees prove it. Now, what the forget did I do with my Appetite for Destruction cassette?