Monday, November 1, 2010


I'm doing my civic duty and reminding you to vote. I would like to say that I don't care how you vote, but that's not true. I actually do care. Because the morons you people in other states elect can completely screw things up for the rest of us. (Talking to you, Massachusetts.)

Now, some people say that if you don't vote then you have no business complaining about how things turn out in the coming years. But that's just a bunch of nonsense that people repeat because it sounds good. The truth is, half of the people in this country who are able to vote will not. And guess what? A lot of them will bitch about all sorts of things in the coming months and years.

And they can. It's called freedom of speech. See, freedom of speech means you can say any stupid thing you want to and you can even say it if you don't vote. No one's checking. Seriously.

If you don't vote and then you complain about the results and someone says to you, "Yeah? Well who did you vote for?" you can simply lie to them and say you voted for the other person and things would be better if that person had won. It's really easy. You just pretend to have voted. And if you're the kind of person who's going to lie about voting then you're probably also the kind of person I don't really want voting in the first place. There are enough disingenuous turds in the political process already. So stay home. Liar.


Lily Cate said...

I have to second this notion.
Please don't wander into the polling place if you don't have any idea who the people are on the ballot.

Ray Veen said...

Well done, Mr. Murphy. You've convinced me not to vote, and furthermore, to lie and say I did.

Anita said...

Husband and I read all the boring stuff about all the boring things on the boring voting thingies. We sat at home and drank beer and filled out the thingies. So now we can complain.

Unknown said...

I just voted against legalization of weed. Didn't think I'd ever see it on the ballot. California never surprises me.

Anita said...

We've got "medicinal marajuana" in Colorado. It's weird, because near the slopes, people are having a lot of health problems that only weed can solve. Uh-huh.

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