No one cared for a decade or more,
but now we're all so sad.
We all want to hear your music again
even that crappy song "Bad."
We're busting out our moonwalks,
we're grabbing our crotches today,
but for some strange reason no one is playing
your best song, "Say, Say, Say."
We know that you could be "Dangerous,"
especially to prepubescent boys
but let's just forget about that for now
and pretend it never happened.
Because when we think of you
we remember your sparkly glove.
We remember songs like "Beat It"
We remember your undying love (of prepubescent boys)
You made some cool videos
like "Smooth Criminal" and "Thriller"
but you never guest starred on Scooby-Doo
like Don Knotts and Phyllis Diller.
If I had managed your career
there'd be no rapping in "Jam"
and you wouldn't have gone out in public
with that midget who called his mom "Ma'am."
But hindsight is twenty-twenty
and your death reminds us all
that even though you fondled boys
we really liked "Off the Wall."
And that's what really matters.