Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Murphblog's First Award

*Note: If you're looking for the "Say What" Contest, you can scroll down or click here. Submissions accepted through Sunday.

The accolades keep pouring in. First, there was my awesome contest win. Now, I have been awarded the Kreativ (notice how kreativly that's spelled?) Blogger Award. I'm sure there are more prestigious blogging awards (actually, I'm not sure of this at all), but I have never won any of them, so they can't be all that important. (On my Post-It: Create blog award. Spell it funny. Send to lots of bloggers. Increase readership!)

How does one go about winning a Kreativ Blogger Award? Well, it's a lot like winning the Newbery. A panel of adult geeks sits around a big conference table and discusses different blogs. They narrow the field and pick the one that's least deserving and least likely to be read by anyone with a sense of humor. It usually helps if you have blogged about your dog dying. The judges love that.

Unlike other awards, the Kreativ Blogger Award expects something of its recipient. No rambling, I'd-like-to-thank-a-bunch-of people-you've-never-heard-of-and-then-get-cut-off-by-the-orchestra-while-
vapid-celebrities-wear-phony-smiles-on-their-faces nonsense, but rather a simple list. I am supposed to tell you seven things I love. Then I'm supposed to tag seven other people and give them the award. As frequent readers of Murphblog well know, I don't know seven other bloggers. (On my Post-It: Create blog award. Spell it funny. Send to lots of bloggers. Increase readership!)

So here goes.

Murphblog's Kreativ Blogging Award Acceptance List (Seven Things I Love, in no particular order):

  • Grape Kool-Aid (even if it does make my poo green)
  • You know when you eat a Chips A'hoy cookie and you get that filmy clump of mushy cookie stuck up there against your gums? That stuff.
  • Parentheses (duh.)
  • Impressionists
  • Sometimes I wake up before my alarm goes off and I think, "Drat (not really, I wouldn't even think such a stupid word), I'm going to have to get up pretty soon." But then I look at the huge red numbers of the clock on the nightstand and it says 4:15. That feeling. (Even better, waking up at 6:15 and remembering it's Saturday.)
  • The Helmet Shuffle (oh wait, that goes on the other list. The "Things I Hate So Passionately I Cann Hrdly Typ" list.
  • Getting awards I've never heard of
You're probably thinking something along these lines: What a jerk, he didn't mention his family at all. (You're really probably thinking that if you're my wife.) Simple explanation: People are not things, and so I excluded them from the list. No offense meant. Obviously, I like my wife better than grape Kool-Aid. (And to those of you thinking, "But you named a feeling. A feeling isn't a thing," I would kindly ask you to keep that sort of thing to yourself. I'm an award winning blogger, I know what I'm doing.)

Twilight Quote of the Day

"You sure can pick them, Bella. This movie really sucks."

--Jacob Black, New Moon, p. 211

Thanks to Kelly Polark for presenting me with the award.


Kelly Polark said...

Thanks for playing along, Paul! I totally agree on the alarm clock check and relief.
The Say What contest made me chuckle too ( even if a few of the entries made me cringe a little...)

Anonymous said...

I am not that easily offended. However, if you ever win an award where it is required to give an I'd-like-to-thank-a-bunch-of people-you've-never-heard-of-and-then-get-cut-off-by-the-orchestra-while-
vapid-celebrities-wear-phony-smiles-on-their-faces speech, I'd better be first on the list. :)

Ray Veen said...

I would have totally assumed grape kool-aid stains things purple. Thanks for setting the world straight on that.

Your blog kills me, I was gonna click the follow thingy before I even left a comment but you got no follow thingy. You must rectify that, my friend.

(I see you've blogrolled Bryan and Carrie, you do know they're not entirely human, right? Just a little FYI.)

Ray Veen said...

Ha. Your wife is funny too.

Unknown said...

I have no follow things because I don't know what I'm doing (and because I was pretty sure for quite a while no one was actually reading anything I wrote).

Which one of Blogger's fantastic gadgets would allow you to follow, Big Plain V? I need some help on this one.

Ray Veen said...

Don't worry, you're being tracked via blogroll. Scary, no?

If you still want the follower function, click 'add a gadget' in layout, it's right near the top. (Can you tell I waste a lot of time blogging?)

And now, back the entertainment that is your blog.

Unknown said...

All right. I added something that vaguely resembles what I imagine would be a way to follow the blog. It's on the right, way down below all the important stuff. It's not the one with all the little pictures of people because I'm afraid that would look like this:

Followers (1)

[picture of my mom]

And that's not great for business. Who wants to read a blog that's only read by the blogger's mother, right?

If the gadget I added is useless, please let me know and I'll remove it. Clutter bothers me.

Angela said...

Great List!