Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Fourth Stall

It's time to get the word out on behalf of one of the rabid devotees. Follower "chris" has written a book for kids called The Fourth Stall. He's a very modest fellow who has never once come on the blog to push his book on the readership, and while that's very respectful of him, it's no way to sell books. So we need to sell some for him.

Here's what it's about:

Christian “Mac” Barrett is a fifth grade “Godfather,” who runs a business operation out of the fourth stall of the boy’s bathroom and has the answer to everyone’s problems — be it help with a bully, test answers, candy, or even dates with girls. But his business is threatened when Staples, a bookie and high school dropout, sets up shop in Mac’s school. Now Mac has to deal not only with the day-to-day problems of running his business, but also a legendary villain and his group of high school lackeys who seem intent on taking down his operation for good.

To assuage my guilt at lifting the entire text:

Now just from that short summary, we can tell the book is chock full of awesome. A list:

  1. Has there ever been a "Mac" in the history of books, cinema, or video games that you haven't rooted for?
  2. Dude's a fifth grade Godfather.
  3. There are scenes (probably a fair amount of them) that take place in a bathroom stall. The potential for hilarity is mind-boggling.
  4. The villain's name is Staples.
  5. Staples has "lackeys." Not stooges or minions or toadies, but lackeys.

So here's what you need to do: First, go to this link and pre-order the book. Then, use the power of the Webosphere to convince others to do likewise. Do not let the fact that you haven't read the book stand in your way. Books are subjective, so you're allowed to pretend to like something that doesn't technically exist yet because you can always ridicule other peoples' tastes if they disagree with you at some future date. Plus, there are ways to remain anonymous on the Internet if you're really worried about jeopardizing your reputation (which probably isn't as good as you think it is). But really, all of that is moot because Chris wrote it and he's funny, it has all of those awesome elements in it, and I'm endorsing it. Bottom line: Reading The Fourth Stall is like walking on clouds while drinking grape Kool-Aid. It's that good. (Note to the author: Feel free to use that line on the second printing.)

Oh, and could someone with some technical knowhow get up a Wikipedia page already? Jeesh.


Anita said...

Does Mac answer girls' questions in the stalls? Do girls come in the boys' bathroom?

P.S. We call our son Mac (and also Cheese).

Anonymous said...

The fourth stall sounds awesome. That's totally getting pre-ordered. Unless I can win it in some kind of blog type contest, but I'll still pre-order it anyway. Because that's how good it sounds.

Chris, if you're reading this, I'm very excited about your book.


chris said...

Wow, thanks for that amazing endorsement. You just made my day, seriously.

It's both funny haha and funny strange you should say that about grape kool-aid and clouds, because in the sequel (which comes out in summer 2010) Mac's right hand man attempts to prove that gravity is a myth using a packet of grape kool-aid among other items.

Anita - Yes, girls are very much welcome in the boys' bathroom. Mac never turns away a paying customer. In fact, in the aforementioned sequel, Mac deals with a tall, dark and mysterious eighth grade girl with a penchant for lies.

Ben - Thanks! All I ask, is that when you get the book, you show Mac some beard love.

I actually gave Mac a really nice beard in the first draft. It was so full and magical that he would hide pencils and pocket change inside of it. But I had to edit it out. Apparently, 5th graders can't grow beards.

Anita said...

Chris: OK, since girls are allowed in there, I'll read the book...soounds cool.

LindaBudz said...

I remember reading about this on Publisher's Marketplace or some other such industry site. LOVE the concept. One of those hooks that makes you say, "Why didn't I think of that?" Hope it's a best seller, Chris!