Thursday, May 7, 2009

Blame Myra

Myra, you want runny poo? I'll give you runny poo.

(Dear The Wife and Debra, you may want to skip this one.)


By Paul Michael Murphy

Last night I ate three tacos.
They tasted really great.
But now I've got a problem,
and it doesn't want to wait.
The train has left the station,
it's barreled down the track.
It's pushing at the barrier.
It's looking for a crack.
Sweat crawls down my forehead,
my stomach really hurts.
I sprint into the bathroom
I've got the Hershey squirts.


Anita said...

You know, once you post something on the www, there's no telling who owns the rights. This is a big risk, Murphy. A very big risk.

Kelly Polark said...

I did have to giggle at crack.
And I will have to share this with my children..
The funny thing about this is just today my hubby and I were discussing the diarrhea song "When you're running into first and you're feeling something burst". He does the sound effects differently than how I learned as a child, and we've had a discussion about it several times, and I mean SEVERAL! Today I said, "Do you realize we've been arguing over the correct way to sing the diarrhea song for almost 17 years?!" We had to giggle.

Unknown said...

The Wife analyzed my poem (no pun intended) and said "But trains don't have to break through barriers."

Unknown said...

Kelly, that's why Google exists. I'm always forced to look up the lyrics to songs because of disagreements with The Wife.

I'm always wrong, but that hardly stops me from arguing again the next time.

Unknown said...

Anita--if you can find a publisher, have at it. A poem like this deserves to be shared, no matter who gets the credit.

Ray Veen said...

Good one. But I think I'm just more partial to boogers. What can I say?

I searched for you on FB, but you weren't one of the two Paul Michael Murphys I found. If you want to, search for Ray Veen. Freaky names like that are easy to find.

Monica said...

i'm having the same problem, BPV, cant find PMM anywhere..... sigh

I prefer the booger one too, tho i thank you for sharing.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Thanks for the warning. I skipped it and headed straight for the comments. I'm glad we understand each other.;-)

Unknown said...

I'm one follower away from being bumped off the homepage square. Damn #26. I'll send him/her on a Mexican Express.

Anonymous said...

True talent, Murph, but still GROSS!

Monica said...

you all realize that all this poo and boogers is merely serving as a distraction, so that PMM doesnt have to announce a winner to his fab contest. I've got a drawerful of manuscripts to submit, you know.

Unknown said...

I would like to announce a winner, but since I offered James a chance to participate in the judging, I thought it would be impolite to just go ahead and pick one. Especially since he's providing all of the prizes. He's home from the hospital with the baby now, but having just gone through all that two years ago, I'm pretty sure he's not checking his email too often. If I haven't heard anything in a week, then I'll email him and see if he wants to opt out of the judging.

Patience. Good things come to those...ah, you know.

Unknown said...

Tracy--I could always kick someone off again. Twenty-five is a good number.

Angela Ackerman said...

OMG--this is like the most awesome poem EVA! LOLOL thank you for sharing it--you crack me up.

Myra McEntire said...

Mwhahahahahahahaha...Mwhahahahahahaha...what disgusting thing can I think up about an ode to body odor?

I. Can't. Stop.

I know you can do it. I bet you could even write it in iambic pentameter.

Unknown said...

The really sad thing is that both of those poems were written months ago. I don't have one on body odor, but I do have one about green poop.