Wednesday, May 20, 2009


For those of you who just can't get enough James Kennedy, he did an interview with Betsy Bird (Fuse #8) of the School Library Journal. You can read it here.
Bittersweet moment coming on Saturday: My pool is being filled in.

Bitter: I like swimming. I also like dropping the words "my pool" into conversation.

Sweet: The idea of having a pool is far cooler than actually having one. I've spent much more time tending to its many needs than I have swimming in it. Also, we'll now have a backyard for Little One to run around in. Also also, no more money will be spent on the pool after Saturday.

So the other day Little One was picking at her rear-end and said something like "My underwear is stuck in my bum." I'm all about teaching her the proper terminology for such things so I said, "You've got a wedgie." She smiled and said, "I've got a wedgie?" Then she said it about six more times.

Fast forward. We're at a restaurant tonight when she starts squirming in her seat and announces, "I've got a wedgie!"

The Wife blames me. But really, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. We all get 'em. (Unless someone knows some secret that they haven't shared with me, and I'm not talking about going commando. I work in a school. There are some risks you just don't take.) In fact, I think it would be better if everyone just announced their wedgie and then picked it out instead of squirming around or trying to furtively remove it. We all know what's going on anyway.

I have a wedgie. See? Not so hard.

Ah, that's better.


Anita said...

We have a neighborhood pool and it really is maintenance on my part AT ALL. And there are fun city pools, too (not that I'd ever take my kids to those, because I'm too lazy). My point: now you'll have more swimming location choices and you won't have to clean any of them.

Ever summer and winter, we rent various awesome cabins, and we act like they're ours. I'll say (after it's been paticularly cold) "Honey, I hope the pipes aren't freezing at Blue Bonnet right now." (Blue Bonnet is the name of one of our favorite cabins). And he'll say something like, "Yeah, I'll have to get up there sometime and check on the pipes. NOT." This allows to pretend we own the cabins and then revel in not having to take care of them. Perhaps you can do this with a city pool and pretend the other people there are really your guests.

I can't believe how long I spent on this post.

Monica said...

i would rather have a neighbour with a pool, than a pool of my own. Then, you can go and clean it once in a while, bring your own towels, and everyone's happy.
My mother always says that you always want what you haven't got.

Kelly Polark said...

Enjoy your bigger backyard with your daughter!
My inlaws have a pool and I've seen how much $ and time is spent on it which makes me glad I don't have a pool. And glad I have one close by to visit!
Now pick that wedgie out for Pete's sake!
My four year old yelled to me at my other son's baseball game, "Hey, Mom! I poopeded today!!" Which happens pretty much every day, so not sure why he announced it. But It made the spectators laugh though.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

I love my pool. It was my dream since I was a kid, and we finally put it in three years ago. Besides the opening and closing brouhaha (I've never written that word before in my life and probably never will again), the summer goes swimmingly (lame pun intended). Of course, that's easy for me to say. If you ask Chuckie the Cabana Boy you might get a different story.

I hope Little One enjoys her new found playground. In a few years, she'll be begging for a pool.;-)

Jacqui said...

I'm with Monica; I want my neighbor to have a pool.

Wedgies are an important part of parental education of children. Next she needs to learn to administer them to others.

Unknown said...

Fortunately we just head to the beach when it's nice, though my wife swims laps in the local public pool. She claims it's nice. I haven't been.

I like a good dip in the pool every once in a while but I can only imagine the headache of owning one. The maintenance must be incessant.

Monica said...

Beaches are nice. Very low maintenance. Sand gets in places, tho, which brings a joke to mind.
Q. Why don't girls drink beer at the beach?

A. Because they don't want sand in their Schlitz.

I deserve a wedgie for that.

Ray Veen said...

Monica, my dear, you made me spurt Guinness out my nose holes.

And Paul? Try boxer-briefs. Guarenteed wedgie-proof.

Monica said...

thanks, Big V. "I'll be here till tuesday!!".

really, Big V? boxers prevent wedgies? seems to me that there'd just be more material to create the wedgie....

Unknown said...

Monica, boxer-briefs are a sort of uncomfortably snug hybrid undergarment. Do a Google image search of the term. You might like what you see.

And the sand in their Schlitz joke was seriously top-notch.

Monica said...

oh thank you, PMM. I am familiar with boxer briefs. They are tres sexy, actually. I was reading too quickly. I tend to miss important details sometimes. I should really learn to stop doing that.

Thank you for your appreciation of my joke. It's like i always tell my husband, i don't need new jokes, just a fresh audience. I have others, but you'll have to wait for the right time. A friend of mine tells me that he once waited two years for just the right time to tell a joke. i don't have his kind of patience, and will sometimes blurt out funny things at inappropriate times, which has made me feel uncomfortable. ah well. such is the life of someone who appreciates humour more than propriety.

The Wife said...

Debra - our pool is (was) 30 years old. Oof. Bittersweet, heavy on the sweet now that I am used to the idea.

Current favorite follower: Monica. Funny stuff. Very Murphblog.