You may have heard of this thing they have on the Internet called "Twitter." It's where people slaughter the English language in an attempt to briefly inform the world of their mundane existences. Or so I hear. I've never actually been on Twitter. As someone who laments the average attention span of the average American, to partake in any way strikes me as grossly hypocritical. So I abstain.
I've heard about it, though. Kinda hard not to. CNN loves Twitter. In fact, they love it so much they let Twitter cover the Iran election story instead of covering it themselves. What they did cover was how awesome Twitter was at covering the Iran election story. Ashton Kutcher likes him some Twitter too, and people are generally more interested in his vacations than they are in Middle Eastern politics. See how wonderful Twitter is?
You can't be an aspiring writer without reading how you should definitely be on Twitter. Agents and other writers love to talk about the importance of "building a platform" and "networking" and "getting your name out there." So of course, like every other writer, I've considered it. Then I stopped considering it because my life is really boring. Not like Ashton Kutcher's at all. Even more boring than protesting Iranians. To prove how boring it is, I recorded things I might have "tweeted" about today.
8:30 just woke up. Have 2 pee. TMI? LOL.
8:32 pee too yellow. Drinking H20
8:56 checking cell phone. Got in pool w/ it yesterday. Oops.
10:20 driving home. semi in way.
10:24 semi out of way.
11:00 speeding. hope no cops. LOL.
1:00 eating at los tres amigos. food is muy bueno, but is making me mas fatto.
2:00 home now. watching golf.
4:00 watching golf.
6:00 watching golf.
7:30 just bought groceries. was out of choc milk.
8:20 was going to text Brad, forgot phone is FUBAR.
9:00 checking fb
9:30 reading blogs
10:00 blogging about tweeting.
Yeah, I can see how that could lead to increased book sales. ROFLMAO.