Wednesday, April 22, 2009

And Now, For My 100th Post...

Stuff my third graders have said over the years. I've occasionally had the foresight to write these things down.


From Dec. 12, 2007

Today, a water main in front of the school busted (as it does every year about this time) and our principal informed us that around two o'clock we would no longer have running water. This is a major sanitation issue at an elementary school that I’m quite sure the health department would frown on. He told us to tell our students to use the restroom before that time to help alleviate the unavoidable mess that would follow. I did not do this, thinking that a few rancid toilets may lead administrators to consider sending kids (and thereby yours truly) home the next time such a problem occurred. One of our second grade teachers did, however, make the requested announcement to her class.

A few minutes later, a girl blurted out, “Mrs. H.! Look what Leonard wrote!” Mrs. H. walked over and followed the pointing finger of the girl. There, on Leonard’s desk, lay a note on which he had written “1:30–POOP.”

Pretty good planning for a second grader.

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From November 29, 2006

So today I was teaching about the Pueblo Indians and a vocabulary word for the lesson was “elders.” To teach the word I used the following example: “When someone tells you to listen to your elders, what they mean is that you should listen to the adults in your life.”

Richard, a rambunctious boy who spends most days doing little but talking, blurted out, “I never listen to my elders!” I responded with typical sarcasm, “Really, I’m shocked to hear that, Richard.” He looked at me quizzically and I added, “That’s called sarcasm, Richard. Do you guys know what sarcasm is?”

Autumn, one of the brightest girls in the class jumped in. “Yeah, it’s when you say something, but you mean the opposite, like ‘Hey Mr. Murphy, you look great today.’” Then she smiled real big.

I laughed and told her that was a pretty good one. Sometimes, it’s the teacher who learns the lesson.

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From September 7, 2006

Richard and his teacher, Mrs. B., were swinging next to each other on the swingset. Mrs. B. is about 6 months pregnant, so she wasn’t going very high. This drew a comment from the third grader, and she explained that she had to take it easy on her belly. The boy responded, “I love to swing high. It makes my private area tingle.”

Ah, kids.

8 comments:

Tracy Edward Wymer said...

Poop and sarcasm, can't go wrong. This is hysterical. Hopefully you have more and hopefully I see a humorous nonfiction manuscript in your future.

Tracy Edward Wymer said...

Oh, and congrats on making it to 100. Looking forward to 100 more.

Anita said...

This is why I lecture my kids on keeping some things within the family...my kids will often blurt out something (like references to tingly privates) and I'll say, "Please don't mention that in circle."

chris said...

That's the sort of dialogue I only dream I could make up.

I bought this book that is an anthology of short stories written by kids for one of Dave Eggers non profit literacy organizations. I should do a post soon with some snippets. I can't even read three lines from that book without laughing so hard I pee myself.

Monica said...

CONGRATULATIONS on your 100th post. Woot woot.

I wish i had written more stuff down that my kids said when they were younger. Now its all sarcasm and 'your mom'.

You should seriously consider a non-fic book, tho, Murph.

slhastings said...

Yay. Poop talk, toilet humor, and a funny post.

Mr. Murphy, you look great today.

Kelly said...

Love these! Hilarious!
I wish I'd written down what my students said. It seemed like I had a good story every day when I taught!
I did have the foresight to buy a journal for each of my children and write down funny things they say. If only I remembered to write things down more often!

Trisha Pearson said...

Third graders are hilarious, as is your blog. My son is in third grade and that boy makes me laugh every day (in between the episodes that make me want to strangle him, of course).