Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's Just Great!!!

So I need to write something here in order to slide the rejection post off the screen. Because that thing is starting to depress me and depression really gets me down. I should probably post something that'll make me feel better.

Plus, I've been reading on the Webosphere that we writers aren't supposed to share any negative opinions we have about other people's novels, or our own writing, or crazy librarians who lovingly fondle books written by total strangers. So instead of telling you what I really think and how I really feel, I'm going to blog about something that is great. It's totally super! I love it a lot! I mean, it is truly, utterly fabulous!!!!!!!!!

I'm talking of course about balloon animals.

What's not to love about balloon animals? They're safer than real animals, especially scary ones like giraffes. You never have to feed a balloon animal. They come in all colors of the rainbow; you're never going to see an orange swan in nature! Sure, that balloon dog might not be as soft and cuddly as the real thing, and it might pop if you hug it too hard, but if you rub your finger along its side, it'll make a funny noise! Plus, the people who make balloon animals are some of the finest in the world. They bring joy to children, just like Bozo the Clown, Bob Saget, Weird Al Yankovic, and Michael Jackson used to.

How could you not respect the balloon animal creator? A lot of times they're clowns, too, so you get twice the entertainment for a fairly minor creepiness factor nominal fee. Many times, the balloon animal maker will don his product as headwear.

Now that's just funny. It's so funny, I can almost forgive the two-toned demin jack--whoops, there I go being critical. Chances are balloon jockey's sister is a literary agent or an editor or someone who wrote a book once.

Too bad. I coulda been somebody.

11 comments:

Monica said...

i like you and all your negative opinions, dude.

Kelly said...

Who else has the slightest urge to go pop that balloon animal?

Jason said...

I like the idea of the denim jacket. I think that he uses it to draw attention to himself (why is that guy wearing a denim jacket? Oh...he's a clown) in case the giraffe with the sword through his neck doesn't do the trick.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha ha! As Junie B Jones would say, "That's the thing about bad news. it's usually not good."

Come read my latest post. It might undepress you a bit :)

MG Higgins said...

Yep, I've been wondering what my next post should be after the enlightening but depressing post I've got up now. Since you've already done balloon animals, I'm thinking flamingo lawn ornaments. Or lint sculpture.

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

Are you implying that the Hoff was a clown (an allegation proved true in his later years) and Gary Coleman was actually a balloon animal? That would explain a lot about Gary.

Monica said...

ok.. is it just me, or is that balloon 'animal' you linked to rather dirty?

Paul Michael Murphy said...

It's just you, Monica. It's pretty obvious what animal it is.

And Jason, you realize that the Internet is forever, right? "I like the idea of a denim jacket." Oy.

Anita said...

I was totally sending your book to my cousins, Janet Reid and Kristin Nelson, but my husband is a balloon animal maker, so you can just forget it.

Monica said...

ok, PMM, i'm going to confession....

Anita said...

Oh, My Goodness! Where's Murph? Forget the little children and get back to your blog!!!