Murphblog: A Primer

I have new followers! Six of them, in fact. Please help me in welcoming Corey, Paradox, Amy, Ocean Girl, Ichardesty, and hegk. Let me also apologize right now for being a less than stellar blog reader and commenter lately. I really appreciate all those people who've been commenting here while I've been neglecting their blogs entirely. That's very unselfish of you. You should probably reward yourself.

Now, quite a few of the newer folks have expressed some hesitancy about dipping their toes in the Murphblog waters and I realize this is entirely my fault. I have, quite intentionally, cultivated a cozy, almost familial* atmosphere in which inside jokes are dropped, references to months old posts are made, and seemingly derogatory comments are not only appreciated, but strongly encouraged. I like our little family. But to newcomers, it must be a little like starting at a new school and walking into the caf and seeing everyone with their friends and wondering how you're ever going to fit in when you don't even know what chocolate milk and Joe Biden have to do with each other.

So this post is a primer on all things Murphblog. It'll help catch you up.**

First, the stuff you need to know about me is over there on the right. I've written two books, a middle grade and a YA. They're not pubbed. I'm not agented, although I thought for a while that I might be. You can get the cliff notes here. My YA is done, but not done; the ending is unsatisfactory. When it's something more than that, I'm sending it to some readers. If you'd like in on that action, let me know. I also write poems, some of which I've posted here. I've had four of them published, so that's cool. My mom framed one. No kidding.

Here are some things in progress:

I submitted a story to Writer's Digest for their Your Story contest and was selected as a finalist. People voted. (Thanks!) I'm waiting to hear if I won. If I did, I'll be published in their next issue.

I'm working on a list of Things I Like. I'll be posting it soon. You are encouraged to make a similar list and post it on your blog. When you do that, you should link to my list because it was my idea. It's the least you can do.

I love chocolate milk. There was at one time a raging debate over the merits of different kinds of chocolate milk and it ended in a tie. I called on Joe Biden to break the tie because that's pretty much his only Constitutional duty as Vice President. I've emailed him twice. He has not responded. This has turned me into a Republican.

Other Stuff:

I have the best readers and commenters on the Webosphere. In fact, I'm thinking about disabling the commenting feature because a lot of times the comments are funnier than the blog posts and that's just not acceptable. You should be funny, but it's not good form to upstage the blogger.

This blog has already won multiple awards. However, should you feel the need to award it, you should not hold its past successes against it.

I used to have contests every once in a while, but since I still haven't sent out the prize to the last contest winner of some six months ago, I kind of gave that up. Sorry, Kelly.

I rarely review books. This is not because I'm afraid of offending the writer or agent or publisher and I think it will hurt my own publishing chances.*** I just suck at writing reviews. I like discussing books, though. In fact, Tracy and I often email our opinions back and forth. You can too. My email is murphypaulmichael@gmail.com

Buy Sophomore Undercover, The Order of Odd-Fish, and anything by Jacqui. Also, a few of my followers have books coming out in the near future. I'll be promoting them when the time is right. I do not pretend objectivity when it comes to promoting books written by Murphblog followers. Objectivity has its place, but it's not a place I'd want to be.

And here's a post about what men should not wear.
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*It would be a dysfunctional family, though. Most the dysfunction is Monica's fault.

**But there are archives going back all the way to the first post. You can't really complain about feeling left out if you're not willing to put in a few measly days worth of reading.

***I'll prove it: Despite it being universally loved by men my age, and despite the fact that Ben Esch himself loved it, and despite the fact that the author is repped by Steven Malk, who I think is awesome and who represents two of my favorite people, Ben and Chris, I thought King Dork kinda sucked. Yes, the voice was entertaining (for a thirtysomething year old dude, not a teenager) and the band names were clever, but after that...nada. Paper thin plot, lack of a resolution to what little plot there was, female characters whose only purpose was to sexually gratify the MC, references to 1970s pop culture that even I didn't get and I'm 15-20 years older than the target audience and the main character. Et cetera.